(Updated 11.25.08)
When it comes to dating (or not dating) what are the rules? I just found out this week that I didn't have a clue what they were. Taking a turn from my normal subject matter. I thought I'd share the insight I've gained from this and other dilemmas I have found myself in. Unfortunately I'm disillusioned and distracted too much to gather those sordid thoughts into any organized structure.
So I will brave the treacherous waters of dating and relationships by getting more personal and sharing ideas and experiences on this blog. After all these very issues have been blowing my mind in the past weeks, holding me back from sharing my mind on other issues.
So stay tuned until I can effectively articulate those thoughts. In the meantime, to begin this very topic, I'll let you start it off. I pose that very same question to you. What are your rules at dating and why?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Labels: Dating and Relationships |
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7 comments:
yay. so mike is finally going to blog like a blogger. lol. (not that i don't like your blog as it is)
hmm. dating rules.
i suppose, if i had it all figured out, i would be happily married somewhere with perfect little children. but, i don't, as you know. lol.
however, i think that the best thing you can do when dating is just be yourself. at least that's what i do. eff a rule. do your own thing.
they betta get witit or get on.
lol.
i will try to send people over who are better qualified to answer this. lol.
LOL @ "people better qualified to answer this!"
I probably need to reiterate the call for entries. I want to know what works for you, your personal rules that might be unique to the norm.
For instance: I know a woman who hates a man with unkept shoes. She feels it was a reflection of horrible character.
My response to her: "WTF?!"
As I've gotten older, my rules for dating have become pretty simple, be open but don't settle.
What I mean by that is the perfect man or woman doesn't exist, so the chances of me meeting a 6'3 muscular dark skinned man with a perfect goatee and 360's that happens to be a doctor and drives a bmw, a range rover, and an infinity, and has a hige house in the suburbs, no children and never been married, is VERY VERY slim. However just wanting a man that is attractive or "easy on the eyes" takes care of himself, has a good steady job(drug dealing doesn't count) has goals, and knows how to treat a woman, you're much more likely to find someone to fit that criteria. But at the same time don't settle, for example if you meet a someone that has a quality that you don't particularly care for in a significant other, such as say smoking...no offense to the smokers out there, then be firm with that. Or if a person has no goals, and sits on the couch all day in his/her pj's watching videos on BET, unless your ideal mate is someone like that then don't settle for that. But hey what do I know, I'm almost 30,can count on one hand how many serious relationships i've been in and have only had 1 last longer than 6 months...
You make some interesting points. Dudes a loser if he is in him PJs watching TV (BET of all things...)
My longest relationship was 8 months and that deal was a BIG mistake, to say the least. We aren't beefing, but boy it threw me off big time.
Thanks for sharing Mina!
I agree, rules are for squares. No rules allows you to be more open to someone. Typically, because you won't give a damn if you're right or wrong. I like the laid back dates. No one's spending too much time trying to impress the other.
I do believe in payng for dates. Just how I was raised. I feel weird when a woman pays for anything for me. Just odd.
I believe as men we like to know what women want and BE THAT. Even if it isn't IN us to be whatever it may be. Because ultimately our life goal is to be pleasing to women. Period.
Of course, we get fed-up with certain types of women. I say the only rule I have is to stay away from the gold-digging types. It will never work for me. Im like Ne-yo and Jamir Foxx.."I like her because she got her own"....
Not so she can cater to me, but so that WE can both be happy about being able to provide and find tranquility in balance.
Good Blog. No right or wrong answers.
I just choose to live life without 'rules or guidelines' when it comes to dating. i've come to learn someone's going to like/Love you regardless of the shit you feel isn't together, etc. Which is why most people don't see Love when it comes. It's like a boulder..crashing into you when you least expect it. Guards down, etc. That's the good shit. lol
Peace.
mike, i need a new entry. stat!
lol.
Thanks Mr. Socialight,
I'm obviously slow motion lately. Good points! I agree that rules are for lames, but unfortunately everyone has them. So maybe we are all squares!
I think both men and women have unwritten rules, things set in their subconcious that immediately eliminate opportunities. I think that's what I wanted to speak on.
Muze: relax!
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