The Rules?

(Updated 11.25.08)

When it comes to dating (or not dating) what are the rules? I just found out this week that I didn't have a clue what they were. Taking a turn from my normal subject matter. I thought I'd share the insight I've gained from this and other dilemmas I have found myself in. Unfortunately I'm disillusioned and distracted too much to gather those sordid thoughts into any organized structure.

So I will brave the treacherous waters of dating and relationships by getting more personal and sharing ideas and experiences on this blog. After all these very issues have been blowing my mind in the past weeks, holding me back from sharing my mind on other issues.

So stay tuned until I can effectively articulate those thoughts. In the meantime, to begin this very topic, I'll let you start it off. I pose that very same question to you. What are your rules at dating and why?

Becoming the Change

We must become the change we want to see in the world. — Mahatma Gandhi

I closed my last post with these same words from Gandhi. Words we have heard in different variations and renditions from many lectures, sermons and speeches. These words resonate with me most because action is most important out of all our hopes, dreams and aspirations.

The element of "hope" and "change" was introduced in the successful presidential campaign of Barack Obama, the first African American President of the United States. His message of "change" is now a possibility since his historic victory.

But as he mentioned in his speech, it's only a chance at change. We must work together to make it happen. No matter who you voted for, if you're Democrat or Republican (or other), red state or blue state, we live in the United States of America. The election is over; we have our next president and it's time to unite.

It's time to unite in prayer and work toward change. My way of working toward change is volunteering. I have slipped in my community service in the past few months, but I'm back in the saddle. I've finally been matched with a mentee through Big Brothers, Big Sisters, reconnecting with friends at Detroit Parent Network, serving on boards and planning committees for non-profits (see links) and availing myself more to my family.

President-Elect Obama was coined "the candidate of change" during the election, and reports have shown that he is hitting the ground running to do what he has promised on the campaign trail. But we can't depend on him to change our destiny, we have to get our houses in order and "become the change we want to see in the world." We now have to be "candidates of change" in our own lives. Get involved and make change happen!

The Chance for a New America

As I witnessed history last night, I listened to the President-Elect and heard his heart. In the middle of his voice I could see his vision. And I one statement he made stood out like the Sears Tower looking out above Grant Park on the thousands who cheered and cried tears of elation and celebration. Before the moving story of centenarian Ann Nixon Cooper, he cautioned us to remember something very important:

"This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change."

Change begins with a chance. If success is where opportuniy and preparation meet, we must not squander the opportunity by forgetting what we are prepared to do. Work. It has only begun; the chance for change to a New America. The essence of his words led me to write this piece:

Welcome to a New America where dreams are realized by those once living nightmares. Through the eyes of elders, we have seen travesties and horrific historical accounts of many a people downcast and downtrodden. Since the origin of this great nation, tribes have been exterminated, cultures have been stereotyped, encamped and concentrated. And in these modern times racism has been covertly operating under the guise of gentrification and classism. Flames of war have been fanned across the fields of the east, families have lost their foundation for the cause of corrupted capitalism under the guise of patriotism.

This night seemed like it would last for an eternity, as the wheels of political power spun in favor of the financially full, fueled by the blood and sweat of the less fortunate. These atrocities of arrogance unfortunately wont fade immediately on the dawn of this new day, but the light with grow across the horizon and the sun will rise higher into the sky. The light will reveal the evil the darkness once covered and we will see the true nature of ourselves.

In this New America, our eyes must adjust, must adapt to the world around us. We have waded in shadows so long that our perception of the world has been mired in mists and subjected to smokescreens, teary eyed with torn spirits. We have to be honest with ourselves. Seeing with our hearts until our eyes are washed free hate and intolerance.

But take caution: this is no panacea, this is a process. We cannot rest in relief. This is morning, this is the new America. Wake up and work to shape the day.

The world is watching us. Continually pray for our new president as you have (or have not) prayed for our current president. Pray for and love each other. We must start with ourselves.

We must become the change we want to see in the world. — Mahatma Gandhi

The Morning Before

So it comes to this. So many have already cast their ballot with the eager anticipation of change. Droves of black men and women have already voted, it's been reported that over 50% of democrats and more that 40% of republicans have already made their choice at the polls. I've personally seen lines wrapped around buildings for days of early voting. It's certainly a phenomenon like the city of Detroit hasn't seen in a long time. It is bittersweet and scary yet, proud and glorious moment.

Why bittersweet? Because we just now realize the power we have in 2008. We just now have regained the wisdom to get involved, and it took a little selfish ambition to realize that. Some African Americans are voting because they can actually identify with a candidate through physical and circumstantial similarities. A physcial manefestation of our potential. And there is nothing wrong with that. I am slowly learning that you have to have an element of selfishness to survive.

But why did we have to be doubting Thomases? Why did we have to see with our eyes to take our power back? We needed this turn out to save affirmative action in Michigan. We needed this kind of entitlement and responsibility when electing out local leaders, instead we rested on the familiar faces and names that our grandparents remembered, or didn't vote at all, leaning on our elders to lead us.

Scary? Yes, horrifying. In the days leading up to this, I've done my best at avoiding political conversation, in fear of witnessing a world of ignorance, insensitivity and intolerance. Well, that conversation found me last week and was I sorely vexed. I admire hope and faith, but such virtues of a zeleaous nature can be blinding to the point of dangerous naivete; looking down the road ever so optimistically, oblivious of the snake pit set in your path.

But getting off my soapbox, I realize that was then and this is now. Affirmative Action is abolished in Michigan, that disturbing conversation is over and all I have is the future.

Tomorrow morning I'm purposed to get up at 4:00 a.m. to mentally and spirtually prepare myself for a long day. I am reporting at 5:45 a.m. to work as a line marshall at a downtown polling site. I've witnessed the buzz of election day voting in previous elections. I remember how anxious each candidates' volunteers were, desperately shoving materials in the hands, arms, bags, mouths of anyone brave enough to give eye contact, and to those who wouldnt. I remember opposing party members trying to distract, disrupt and discourage voters. This was four years ago, and I was just there for an hour, to cast my vote. Tomorrow, I'm there until the polls close helping keep order in the melee that is election day.

This is the front line of battle, where the rubber meets the road.